ShannenB (shannenb) wrote,

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Thanks for all the bus advice, guys! I appreciate it. That's definitely going to be something I keep in mind, unless airfares suddenly take a nose-dive.

Plus--will I even fit on a plane? *frustrated sigh* I gained a pound this week, so now I'm *still* 4 pounds above where I was before my surgery, and I've done nothing but bounce the same 2 pounds around for the last couple of weeks. I think losing 30 pounds by April, like I did last year, is just going to be an impossible thing to do this time around.

I dunno--I'm right back where I was pre-surgery: Plateau City. And my stamina is gone, so I can only work out with cardio for about 20 minutes before I hit a wall. Today I did 25, but that last 5 was struggling. I've been doing that at home, cause I don't know if I'm ready to hit the gym get. Part of that is mental, I know--last time I was at the gym was when the old ticker thing first started acting up, and I know part of me is afraid to go back, especially when I'm not at the stamina that I was when I left.

I guess I just need to cut my food intake more. Instead of leaving 2 or 3 points at the end of the day, shoot for leaving 5 or 6, and don't use activity points. That'll pare it down from about 1500 calories to maybe 1200 calories a day, give or take a few.

Short of that, I don't know what else to do. I hate to accept that this is the weight my body says it should be, because I'm still way, way, way too fat. I mean, some of you saw the pictures--that is not someone who doesn't need to drop a ton. And vainly, I'm *tired* of being ugly. I want to be cute, dammit!

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