ShannenB (shannenb) wrote,

Doctors are stupid sometimes!

OK, so I finally decided to bite the bullet and called the plastic surgeon my regular doc referred me to in regards to getting rid of my chest sandbags. I mean, when I'm doing my baby steps toward working out, I'm having to wear 4 bras at a time. I've lost 27 pounds and yet according to the measuring tape, my boobs are getting bigger. That's as good a sign as any that it's time to get them lopped off.

So, I call over my lunch and actually get to speak to the doctor, which you know--color me stunned. A doctor in at lunch? So he's asking me some prelim questions before my consultation, and he asks me what I'm interested in specifically.

I say, "Well, ideally, I'd like to have a simple double mastectomy followed by immediate reconstruction with implants." Because let's be honest--a simple reduction just ain't gonna get it done. What are they gonna do--reduce me from a II to a DDD? Big deal. That's not even worth it, in my eyes. If you can't take me down to a small C or B cup (which I don't think they can do, because my doctor was all impressed that this doctor removed 5 pounds from a breast, and I'm like dude--mine weigh about 15 pounds each according to my kitchen scale, so 5 pounds is *nothing*), you're not giving me what I want. So let's just scrap the whole deal and start over, as far as I'm concerned.

He says, "You do realize you definitely won't be able to breast feed if you take that step, correct?"

No shit? Really? Because I thought fake boobies also spouted milk. (rolls eyes)

So I tell him, look--I am probably at risk for breast cancer because people in my family have had it, I'm overweight which raises the risk to near certainty, I've got endometriosis so odds are I can't have kids anyway, and even if I *could* have kids, I wouldn't breast feed them. Plus, since I'm about 85% sure I'm not getting married (as I'm now getting to the point where the march of time is working against me), there's not going to be much chance of me even thinking of starting a family. So yes, I'm aware, and no I don't care.

Why would a doctor ask such a silly question? I'm not some stupid 22 year old asking for watermelon sized implants, for crying out loud.

But, we'll see. I'm supposed to go in next Monday and get felt up by him, and then he'll see if I'm a candidate for anything. He wasn't too happy about what I wanted done, and is pushing for the regular reduction, but I told him once he sees these hideous deformities, he'll change his tune.

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